Our thoughts, absolutely, influence our reality. We are powerful creators of a beautiful life, or a miserable one. However, not everyone taps into this power and a little self-awareness can provide major insight to our present life experience. Unfortunately, many of us neglect to take the time to reap the rewards of introspection.

In fact, many live from day-to-day quite happily going about business, and play, without any kind of self-reflection. We work, enjoy our friends, and private time with our significant other. And, after a long day, we crash for the night. We wake up and do it all over again. Each day is lived to the fullest on auto pilot.

Still others may do the same but set a little quiet time aside. Some may choose meditation, exercise, TV time, a hike, or maybe visit church on Sundays for a dose of uplifting, (or perhaps self-deprecating), spiritual prose. Whatever works to stop the hustle; to wind down and savor some peace.

Either lifestyle may experience some level of drama. There’s always someone somewhere asking, “Why am I always in the thick of it? Why do I attract this nonsense? Why me?!” Peace is but a distant dream. Our explanation: this is life. But is it really? And does it have to be?

I think we can have inner peace no matter what. External circumstances are irrelevant. I’m not saying it’s easy. But it’s achievable. Our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings create our reality. It’s so simple to manipulate our own private world and yet so many of us are living unfulfilled or, more precisely, unrealized lives. Is the fact that we are at the helm the best kept secret? Here’s one way to discover what’s holding you back from inner peace just beyond your reach.

Whatever you’re observing outside of yourself, or drawing into your own life, is a good indication of what’s going on inside you. Whether looking at this from a spiritual point of view or psychologically, it may be worth delving a little deeper into your own consciousness to find some answers and perhaps resolve some problems. You may find that the root of the problem is you. Rumi wrote, “The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you.” If we flip this, could this also indicate the ugliness you see also comes from within?

There was a time in my life when I couldn’t do anything right in the eyes of certain individuals. Nothing would make them happy. Being a people-pleaser, this didn’t sit well with me. And being a perfectionist, it was the source of a lot of frustration.

A problem arises when the people you’re trying to please have their own inner turmoil, and nothing will ever make them happy. And what’s worse is if you’re striving for higher than norm expectations, (a.k.a. perfectionist) the satisfaction you need will never completely be had. In my case, the importance of pleasing people was far from the real issue. It was worthwhile for me to investigate what I was really seeking. What void was I really trying to fill?

It took me some time to realize my fear of being anything less than perfect or living up to someone else’s approval came from something inside me. It’s no surprise that I had surrounded myself with people unable to approve of anything I had done or were less than supportive of any of my accomplishments. In time, I recognized that the approval I sought would never be given until I found my own self-worth and understood the only approval I needed was my own.

I’ll admit this realization didn’t come overnight. I had to remove myself from the source(s) exasperating my problem. An awakening often comes with cutting ties and choosing friends, and even family, more wisely. Our awareness is heightened, and we naturally choose what’s best for our highest good. We repel toxicity and attract more goodness into our lives.

Our thought patterns had been created by outside sources many moons ago. Our upbringing, our childhood, our life experiences – good and bad, the people with whom we’ve shared our lives have created who we’ve become. Our beliefs about ourselves have been ingrained in us and the way we think has become a habit. As we get older, we continue these patterns of our own free will. They shape who we are and, thereby, shape our world and the way we perceive it. Joy begets joy. Love begets love. Anger begets anger. Sadness begets sadness. And on and on and on. Like attracts like.

We can learn a lot about ourselves by using outside circumstances as a window to within. Once we face the truth about ourselves, we can heal. We can then reinvent ourselves and reshape our lives. We can attract only people and experiences that serve us well. No longer will we welcome unhealthy individuals and situations into our lives because we wouldn’t subject ourselves to such experiences out of pure love and respect for ourselves. The result will be a sense of peace. Everything will just flow.

As in all aspects of life, I believe, love is the answer. So, I take heed to my joyful moments and my less than celebrated ones. I’m now more aware of my thoughts and feelings. I understand that each moment is a reflection of what’s going on inside me. The cause and the effect.

Use your power within to create your own reality. Monitor your thoughts and practice self-discipline when old habitual thinking creeps in. It’s up to you. Choose to see a reflection of beauty. In time, you’ll see you’re free to create a beautiful life, too.

Sharon – Embracing My Joy